I woke up early today, thanks to my little hiccupping alarm clock currently stationed in my womb.
I looked outside and saw the dim lights of a brand new day coming over the horizon. I looked at my cell phone clock: 5:38. I laid in bed, closing my eyes again, debating making one last attempt to fall back asleep before my five little balls of energy ignite for the day.
Nah, they’ll be up soon anyway. I might as well get all of my Facebook, e-mail and blog checks done early. (For those that don’t know me, I am NOT a morning person. I’m also not a night person. I’m more of a 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. person, as long as I can squeeze a nap in somewhere in there.)
After all my checks were done, my mind started making a mental list of all that I need to do today: midwife appointment and glucose test this morning (yahoo…. can you sense my sarcasm??), pack for our weekend away, clean the house before we leave (nothing stresses me out more than coming home from a weekend away to a house that is in utter ruins), clean out the van (again), get an oil change, and make sure I don’t lose my sanity with kids during the process.
I might as well get up and get going. A busy day leading into the busy weekend ahead: Mother’s Day weekend. And this year I get to spend it with most of my favorite moms. I feel so blessed!
When it comes to celebrating actual Mother’s Day, I like to keep it as low-key as possible. I don’t mind spending the day chasing the kids, changing diapers, preparing snacks and meals, or any of the other things I do on a daily basis. I love serving my kids and my husband, and sometimes I even manage to do so joyfully!
But I didn’t always feel that way. Up until a couple of years ago I felt like I was entitled to a free-pass card that day. And if I had to do any kind of mothering on Mother’s Day, I would make my unhappiness known. Thankfully, my attitude and appreciation for the whole day has changed.
When I became a mom, I gave up all that was only me. From the time of conception of my first child, my body was no longer my own. Every food I ate, every choice I made, had a direct effect on the little one growing deep inside of me. My body changed (both temporarily and permanently) in ways I never imagined it would. I grew round, my hips grew wider, and my understanding of love grew deeper.
In becoming a mom, I willingly gave up the ability to pick up and go out at the drop of a hat. I now have to consider those I have been entrusted with. Every minute that I’m awake (and even sometimes in my sleep) I am thinking about my kids, whether I realize it or not. It is funny how our mom-brains are wired that way. Don’t get me wrong, there are times I would love more than anything to just get up and go, without having to pack a diaper bag, or change diapers, or do potty runs, or find a half dozen pairs of matching socks. And I do have times (thanks to my awesome husband) where I get time away to recharge my batteries. But that is no longer a priority of mine.
In becoming a mom, I gave up my hopes and dreams (even if only for a short time) to focus all of my energy and talents on raising these human beings. But I also gained the ability to help nurture their hopes and dreams, and to help sharpen their energy and talents to become the people God wants them to be! There is absolutely no career or degree that can offer deep fulfillment like that.
In becoming a mom, I realized just how very human I am. My faults and short-comings and sins are even more apparent now with all of these little eyes watching me. When I catch them doing the same things I know I shouldn’t do, it is a huge reality check. Lessons on humility are coming more frequently the older my kids get. Because of that, because of my kids and their child-like faith, I am slowly becoming a better person.
So on Mother’s Day this year, I am choosing to not sulk and pout over the imminent fact that my kids will, as usual, be up before the sun. I won’t be mad when I have to change one of the many poopy diapers my son produces, or help make snacks and meals, or any of the other tasks I usually do.
My kids are only young once, and I chose to have them over having my life to myself (I can’t have it both ways). I don’t want them to ever feel like they are an inconvenience, or that they are a bother. I love having the ability to serve them in these small, seemingly insignificant ways. One day they won’t need me to do these things for them (at least I hope my kids will one day have the ability to take care of their own bathroom business without my assistance). For me, it wouldn’t be a true Mother’s Day without these little things!
Speaking of little things, my little ones are up and ready for the day. Here’s to a morning filled with coffee and snuggles!
Happy Mother’s Day to all of the moms out there! I hope you get to spend your day surrounded by the family you helped create! 🙂